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- Mother Offers Daughters $35,000 Each to Not Have Weddings for a Surprising Reason</p>
<p>Rachel RaposasOctober 25, 2025 at 5:44 AM</p>
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<p>A stock image of a wedding venue -</p>
<p>A mother has promised her four daughters each $35,000 as long as they don't have weddings</p>
<p>The individual shared that she's not anti-marriage, just against overspending on elaborate weddings</p>
<p>The mother herself had a "big fancy poofy wedding," which was lovely, but shared that throwing the event ultimately put her and her husband in debt for the next five years</p>
<p>A mother is defending her decision to give her children each $35,000 should they choose not to have a wedding.</p>
<p>In a post on TikTok, a mother, who identified herself as Kate, explained why she's promised such a high amount to her daughters — it hinges on the condition that they don't have weddings. Kate, a mother of four, isn't anti-marriage, she clarified — she's just against the rising culture of overspending for the occasion.</p>
<p>"If they choose not to have a wedding, they will get a check," Kate said in the video. "And the reason I'm going to do that is because most married couples start off their marriage in debt."</p>
<p>Kate and her husband tied the knot in a "big fancy poofy wedding," but the couple spent the next five years paying off the resulting debt, she said. If she was given the choice again, Kate said she'd rather invest the money that went into the celebration — into a home, a honeymoon or a retirement fund, for example.</p>
<p>In her opinion, a courthouse wedding or a small ceremony in a family member's backyard would have been just as nice, Kate said. In hindsight, the big wedding was "a huge waste of money," she said.</p>
<p>"That would have been a better start for us," Kate said. "That would have taken a lot of the pressure off the first few years of our marriage."</p>
<p>"It was a beautiful day, it was a great wedding. But the cost of it was exorbitant," she added.</p>
<p>Getty</p>
<p>Large wedding.</p>
<p>She hopes to encourage that sort of thinking in her daughters with the promise of a $35,000 check, she continued, as that's roughly the average cost of a wedding these days.</p>
<p>A report from Brides.com in February 2025 stated that weddings and the associated celebrations cost an average between $31,000 and $36,000 — though more than half of couples are "expected to go over budget." Broadly, wedding costs have consistently rising in recent years, the report added.</p>
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<p>However, the decision is truly up to her daughters, Kate said. They "know my heart on the matter," she said, and should they decide to have a big wedding, they know she'll be supportive and cover any of the necessary costs.</p>
<p>on People</p>
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